Tag: W. B. Yeats

  • chocolate comes, chocolate goes

    chocolate comes, chocolate goes

    Impermanence is the fragrance of my life just as it is. This notion brings a subtle joy to these old bones and bare scalp.

    A New Yorker magazine cartoon depicts a couple strolling down the street, one saying to the other:

    These are the ‘good old days’ that someday we won’t be able to remember.

    I think a lot about when the kids were little, and how great it felt to be a new dad, and now that both kids are adults, and living in an empty nest… Well, I feel sad sometimes.

    Like the cartoon, I know there are so many memories that aren’t easily accessible anymore. That “someday we won’t be able to remember” is here. I guess memory itself is impermanent, uncertain, imperfect, fading.

    At least mine feels this way.

    One of the Buddha’s most significant teachings is to really examine our life and our world as impermanent and changing all the time, disappearing even as it arises.

    There is a chant in the Pali language I used to chant daily as a young monk in a monastery in Sri Lanka (before kids):

    Anicca vata sankhara/ Upada vaya dhammino/ Upakituva nirujihanti/ Tesang vupasamo sukho

    One translation would be:

    All conditioned things are impermanent/ Their nature is to arise and pass away/ To live in harmony with this truth/ Brings the highest happiness.

    How do we live in harmony with the way things actually are when I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast yesterday?

    But I can appreciate the point here. The chant suggests our discontent comes from wanting things to differ from how they are. Like trying to push a river in a different direction with our bare hands.

    Femme prenant du chocolat 1912 by Pierre Auguste Renoir from Barnes Foundation
    Femme prenant du chocolat (1912) by Pierre-Auguste Renoir.

    Take my hair, for example (yes, please take my hair!) As many of us get older, the hair thing comes up (or off in my case).

    what happened to my hair?

    When I look in the mirror, it’s like I am seeing a photoshopped version of myself. What happened to my hair? Sure, there’s not much left, but I catch myself quarreling with nature herself that what little she left me with is all white.

    Our son came home for the summer yesterday after finishing his 2nd year in college. It is truly magnificent to see him again. And I really can’t wait for him, as my dedicated hair trimmer, to cut off this sparse outgrowth of white partially covering my scalp.

    how to live in light of impermanence?

    The question I turn over a lot in my mind is how do I live as I let the Buddha’s teaching on impermanence soak into my rickety bones?

    That Pali chants suggest the answer rather obliquely: To live in harmony with the reality of impermanence brings great happiness.

    How do I live with what little time I have left that feels in consonance with the way things are?

    Shortly before he died, William Butler Yeats wrote:

    If I had to put it in a single phrase, I would say that one can live the truth, but one can really not know the truth, and I must express the truth with the rest of my life

    This helps immensely. It takes the burden off trying to get a deeper insight into impermanence through my practice of insight meditation.

    I got it enough already. I just need to be mindful of not wasting time, and expressing the truth of impermanence with the time I have left.

    I love how the Austrian poet and novelist Rainer Maria Rilke expresses this:

    The knowledge of impermanence
    that haunts our days
    is their very fragrance.

    The fragrance of impermanence IS the fragrance of my life just as it is. This brings a subtle joy to these old bones and bare scalp.

    And the fragrance of impermanence is sweet.

    I think the late, great Tibetan Lama Yeshe should have the last word here:

    Chocolate comes
    Chocolate goes
    Chocolate disappears
    All such transient pleasures are like this.
    But take heart!
    There is another kind of happiness available to you,
    a deep abiding joy that comes from your own mind.
    This kind of happiness is always with you, always available.
    Whenever you need it, it is always here.

    This is why I keep meditating. This joy just gets deeper and more meaningful every day.

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  • openness to experience

    openness to experience

    Meditation turns special moments on their head. It turns out we don’t need special moments to savor the openness of experience.

    Are you familiar with the Calvin and Hobbes cartoons? One of my favorites is when Calvin trips and falls down a flight of stairs, landing on his rear and looking confused.

    Then he stands up and throws his arms up in the air like a performer taking a bow and says,

    Ta da!

    I love this cartoon so much because it illustrates one key aspect of mindfulness practice–the space we create around the story we call our “self” allows us to shift our view to a bigger picture.

    calamity? what calamity?

    A picture in which day to day calamities are not calamities at all. You could call this reframing.

    I prefer to call it not being flooded by the inevitable downpours of life.

    Or you just savor the openess of experience and not call this anything at all

    Here are two takes on this essential mindfulness skill, one from a well-known Buddhist meditation teacher, the other a contemporary poet:

    Even if your house is flooded or burnt to the ground, whatever the danger that threatens it, let it concern only the house. If there’s a flood, don’t let it flood your mind. If there’s a fire, don’t let it burn your heart. Let it be merely the house, that which is external to you that is flooded and burned.

    Ajahn Chah

    Here are few words from the contemporary poet and essayist Mark Nepo:

    Ever since the lock on
    my door broke, I have
    more visitors.
    Now the road I always
    take is detoured, which
    I curse until I see the
    heron glide across the
    small pond I didn’t
    know was there.

    Meditation shows us where we are caught, where we are hung up, and shows us we can always let go. And when we let go we open into a kind of space that allows everything, where everything belongs; a radical openness to experience.

    Meditation is an invitation to relish the taste of this space that is always here regardless of circumstance.

    Senecio (Baldgreis) (1922) by Paul Klee-evocative of an openness to experience.
    Senecio (Baldgreis) (1922) by Paul Klee.

    Here is another take, this one by the Irish poet W. B. Yeats (1865-1939), considered one of the foremost literary figures of the nineteenth century. This is from part IV of his poem “Vacillation” from The Winding Stair and Other Poems, (1933):

    My fiftieth year had come and gone,
    I sat, a solitary man,
    In a crowded London shop,
    An open book and empty cup
    On the marble table-top.

    While on the shop and street I gazed
    My body of a sudden blazed;
    And twenty minutes more or less
    It seemed, so great my happiness,
    That I was blessèd and could bless.

    from Vacillation, W.B. Yeats

    The poet is sitting in a crowded London shop, much, I would imagine, like sitting in a coffee shop in our day. We bring a book to read while we sip our latte. We just turned fifty, and we think of the inexorable passage of time. Perhaps lost in melancholic reverie, we put the book down on the marble table-top.

    Then his body suddenly blazed. His mind is no longer wandering, no longer melancholic. And his happiness in that moment was so great that religious tones appear-he felt he was blessed and could bless.

    Twenty minutes more or less sounds a bit playful.

    Perhaps for twenty minutes or so he took a seat in eternity.

    We could read into this all sorts of things. What matters for me is the evocative quality. Of feeling our aliveness break through the slumber of our humdrum days. We sense this in our so-called special moments, of noticing a child’s first tooth, or a sunset, a birth or a death.

    But meditation turns special moments on their head.

    It turns out we don’t need special moments to savor the openness to experience. All moments are special, even sitting at a crowded coffee shop ruminating on one’s life.

    Let’s not underestimate the power of our mindfulness practice. We sit, we become aware of sounds, and then we settle the mind into the sensuous, lush undulations of body sensations.

    We shift from being a witness to our life to living our life within the fold of our life, within the beating, rising and falling heart of experience itself.

    For twenty minute more or less we morph into reality itself, bare, boundary less, and beautiful beyond description.

    We allow our body to live its life. And it responds by suddenly blazing into life. The gateway to the blaze is simply the willingness to feel. To feel the body just as it is, moment by moment. The willingness to feel our openness to experience. 

    Openness is not a goal; rather it’s a relationship to what is happening as it’s happening. And since what is happening is already happening, there isn’t much room here for accomplishments, effort or special feats.

    Just to open like a sunflower opens to sunlight; in our case, the sunlight of awareness.


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